Storms.

I don't really know what to write and right now I do not seem to be writing very much. It just makes you think what you do when things don't always go the way you planned. What do we normally do? We shut ourselves away from the world, we wallow in our self pity and just focus completely on us. Why is that?! Wouldn't it be better for us to focus on the better part of life, to focus on what life could be right now if we let it???

I dislike storms very much. I hate how they make you feel. I hate how they hurt. I hate how they make you cry tears you never thought you had. I hate how they make life seem completely ugly when it is in fact completely beautiful.

However, storms are there for a purpose and believe it or not, they make you into the person you should and need to be, not only for yourself but for those who also depend on you in some way or another.

I'm watching PS I Love You and Holly goes through rubbish that most of us will never even come close to and yet what does she do?? Yes, she wallows in self pity but surely she is entitled to that, but she is changed for the better. Through all the rubbish and the hurt and the pain, she grasps hold of the moment, works through it and carries on with her dream. Her storm, in some way, makes her move into her dream.

Amazing...beautiful...incredible...graspable by all of us...

International Hospital Kampala.

This should have been put on a blog AGES ago, it is my report from my time at IHK in Uganda last year.

'I have just spent four weeks working at International Hospital Kampala (IHK), which is situated in Kisugu, just outside of the city centre of Kampala, the capital of Uganda. In one sentence, I have loved this placement and experience. In more than one sentence, these are the reasons why…

On first impressions the hospital is beautiful. It is a lovely building, within lovely grounds. Many of the walls have beautiful paintings on. You walk in and know it isn’t England, yet you don’t quite know it is Africa either.

It’s small in comparison to hospitals in England but then maybe it’s because this is a private hospital and medical/health care is considerably more expensive than at other medical/health centres.

The professional team works differently. The wards never seem to be short of nurses, which is a very rare occurrence within England. The team of doctors is considerably smaller though.

There are many variances but I’m unsure of the reason for these. I don’t know if they are due to this being Uganda and me comparing it to England, or this being a general hospital and me comparing it to my usual paediatric setting.

One reason I love Uganda is because there are no restrictions on your faith. Within the hospital it is no surprise to hear Christian music, praying, people talking of their God and to see bibles being read. One nurse told me that she often sees mums praying for their premature babies and she confidently does the same. Faith, wherever it may stem from, is openly expressed and even encouraged here – a part of holistic care that is often forgotten by many in England.

To find a fast paced Ugandan is not the norm – being inside and outside of work has shown me this. Their jobs are done in a more relaxed manner. What is the point of rushing to get somewhere when you can enjoy the journey? Why rush the job when there is company to be enjoyed? In England this attitude may be perceived as lazy but it is far from that. This is their culture, their way of life - culture is ‘the lens through which we see the world (Helmany 2000)...there is no restriction to what that lens may look like. Our culture is paramount to who we are and it differs from person to person. We have to remember this when dealing not only with our patients but our colleagues as well.

My experiences varied, dealing with a variety of patients with a variety of conditions, dealing with both English and non-English speaking patients, of all ages and even all nationalities. I experienced my first delivery and it was a beautiful thing – something more cherishable than people realise. I saw my first theatre procedures, some of which ran considerably smoothly and some that didn’t. I dealt with patients who were at times critical and patients who were extremely well. Within the short 4 weeks I experienced more than I have experienced in the past two years of my training in England.

Nurses seem to have more responsibility here than in England. Maybe this has something to do with the smaller team of doctors but either way it has effective benefits. There is no waiting around for a doctor to fit a cannula or take blood, which is often the case on the childrens wards I’ve worked on, because that is their role – part of the nurses immediate care for their patient. And what nurses do students can do. It feels like students actually become nurses in their training here. Students (and even nurses) are not restricted, so they are free to nurse and therefore are free to become nurses.

My experience was worthwhile and I loved it. It was not my first time in Uganda so I wouldn’t say culture shock really affected me, but whenever I go new things are shown to me about their country and their way of life. Uganda is a beautiful country and the people are also beautiful. I would say to everyone that they should experience Africa at some point in their life, through some sort of student placement or voluntary work – it shows you something different about life and affects you for the good. It helps you to rebalance your priorities and see what the important things in life actually are.

Nicola Godward, Student Childrens Nurse
19th May – 15th June 2008
International Hospital Kampala, Uganda, East Africa
Negotiated Nursing Placement'

That's it, hope you liked it and I hope you enjoyed the music I chose to put with it, I wanted something Ugandan but the music I really love I don't know what they are singing so thought I better not include that on here just in case :) and the video wasn't the most appropriate either.

Enjoy...a glimpse of my future. x

Run...Soar.

This is Leona Lewis' new single, a cover of Snow Patrols 'Run'. I love this song. Her voice is completely amazing and when she sings, she sings with such passion and emotion and feeling.

Some of the lyrics read:

'Light up, light up,

As if you have a choice,

Even if you cannot hear my voice,

I'll be right beside you, dear.'

Tonight I've met with some friends from church as we are planning the worship for Sunday. I shared this bible verse:

'Praise the Lord O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compasssion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.'

Psalm 103 v 1-5.

The song sings about getting through something knowing someone is there even when you can't hear/see them. For me this relates to God. I know He is there even though I cannot physically see Him. There is also always a choice - light always comes.

The bible verse talks about who our God is. The fact that He is holy and should be praised. He blesses us with so many benefits. He forgives ALL our sins. He crowns us with things such as love and compassion. Above it all, He blesses us with things that are 'good'. 'Good' is used a lot in the bible and so often in relation to who God Himself is. God is good and so if He blesses us with good things, they really must be 'GOOD'.

Us excepting God as this helps us to soar as eagles. We take that leap of faith and soar with Him. We cannot necessarily hear His voice and see Him but we choose to leap off the edge anyway and we are blessed with the magnificent, exciting, adventurous soaring that an eagle experiences.

There Can Be Miracles.

This is a video clip from the film Prince of Egypt - the song makes this scene very powerful and emotional.

I haven't blogged much lately, life seems kinda empty - nothing to speak of I guess, but I was listening through my music today and a copy of this song came on. One line stood out to me:

'And it's easy to give into your fears...'

That is so true isn't it?! We go through all these tough, demanding times, similar to what I blogged about last time and the easiest thing to do would be to dwell on the bad times, feel sorry for ourselves and give into those fears...but is that the best thing to do??

The song tells us there can be miracles. The song is sung at a time in the film when thousands of people are seeing no clear way, they feel stranded, yet they are told to step out and trust...to not give into their fears of things coming to nothing, but trusting that God can and will do this - 'there can be miracles, when you believe...you will when you believe...'

The word 4 u 2day says this -

'God never asks you to do something without helping you achieve it. The more you get to know God, the more you learn to trust Him and the easier it becomes to be happy inside, no matter what is happening.'

'Don't feel bad. They joy of God is your strength!' Nehemiah 8 v 10.

Moving Mountains.

Open the video in a new window http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64EjuSEXsYg I tried to put the video on here but the codes needed are all disabled on youtube. Sorry.

This is Ushers latest song 'Moving Mountains'.

I'm not really with it at the moment, I have only just heard this song, but I love it. Songs like this always get me hooked. Songs about pain and hurt. Songs about trying to get through the rain and the storm.

Some of the lyrics read:

'I know sorries, just wouldn't do it

Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to travel through

But it's like moving mountains...

It's like moving mountains...

But I keep climbing and hoping things would change

And the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes progress away

It's like moving mountains...

It's like moving mountains...'

What does this song say to you? Can you relate to it and everything it sings of??

Are the troubles you're going through bringing obliteration? Does it seem like you have to move mountains to come through? Everytime you take a step is it washed away by the rain that pours down around you??

It's true, trouble does appear like this at times and when you think it couldn't get any worse it does. When you feel like you can't take it anymore and nothing makes sense. Everything, every simple task seems like a struggle and every little thing brings you to tears and anger.

Life sucks at times...sometimes it seems like it sucks most of the time, but that is the way life is. Struggles come but they do go. We work through them and when the rain comes we fall back, but our steps are always larger and bigger than rain drops, aren't they?!

Think about it..........

Skates.

At the weekend I went to this fab roller disco in London. It was a family members 21st and we dressed up and made an absolute night of it. I loved it and had lots of fun!!

I fell over three times......now you're thinking I must have been rubbish, but that ain't true :) I usually think I'm alright at skating but always manage to fall over and I usually blame it on other people!!

Is that the way though? Do I trip coz it is actually someones elses fault, or do I trip coz I'm the one who faulted?!

I guess it's that way with our lives and our faith and our beliefs as well as our morals and principals. We all trip up at times but do we unconciously or even deliberately blame others for our trips?? Do we automatically think that it can't be us and it's actually someone else?

Of course we do, that is life and that is what being a human does I guess. We have to remember that this is OUR life though and even though there is a higher person than us, someone who can change our life around, our life will always be OURS to live. We make the decisions, whether good or bad. Yes, people do influence but we make the ulimate decision. We can't go around blaming others because we will never improve and become stronger and better. Like with skating, if I continually blame others for my trips I won't think that there is anything to work on, so I will always continue tripping. It's the same with life.

Patience.

At the moment I don't feel like I have much patience. There is one thing that I am really longing for and that I actually feel ready for and it is hard waiting for something with the patience required.

I do not want to be impatient...I want to practice those things which are good and which will bring more character, yet how does this happen when the things you long for seem so far away??

My answer is - I don't have an answer. I guess we just have to pursue our passions with the hope that what we long for IS coming - somewhere, someday.

'...We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end,

in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy,

but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised...'

Hebrews 6 v 11 - 12

Pictures of Life.

Sunshine.

I am sorry I haven't blogged in so long, it's been a busy few weeks.

To be honest, life is busy and I don't know if it will ever change.

I am thankful for one thing today though.

It has been beautiful the last few days and I absolutely adore times like this.

It reminds me of what I love and how beautiful the world is.

Many times I would rather not be in England. In fact, at times I despise the country I live in. People have priorities wrong and lives are not lived as they should be. Most of the time the weather is rubbish as well...but when the sun shines it really does and I begin to love England again. I love summer evenings where I can sit in the garden, eat and drink with my friends and family. Evenings where the sun shines until 10 and where it never gets cold. Evenings where I can sit alone and enjoy the starlight and candlelight.

The last few nights I was working nights at work and on all my breaks I went outside. I sat under the stars in the cool breeze and it was beautiful. My shifts were enjoyable because I got to enjoy the beauty of nature and the beauty of life.

Look around you and enjoy what you see and what you feel. Life isn't always about the material things and the people we are with. Yes, I know that these moments of beauty would be so much more beautiful if shared with my man but they have a beauty of their own when they are shared alone.

See what the Lord has for you in the next few days. See what He says through the nature He created so beautifully and so perfectly.

Much love from me to you. x

Prayer.

I don't really have anything on my heart to blog about at the moment but I want to blog anyway, maybe just for the sake of it and also coz I have some new pictures which I love, so I want to share them.

This week is a prayer and fasting week at the church here. Last night was the first prayer meeting of the week and it was amazing. There were several points throughout the hall that highlighted different things to pray for. Some was specific for the church and specific ministries, others were just for the nation.

It was really great praying for people, ministries and countries that I have never known or been a part of. I think it just reminded me that we need to pray for our world, whether or not we feel 100% part of it all of the time. The world is not just full of the people that we know, it is full of many who are all called to do many different things.

It also got me to pray about Uganda, the country I am in now and the country I am so passionate about. Do I usually pray for Uganda? No. Why though? A country which has my heart and is full of the many special people in my life and yet I do not regularly pray for it. Are we becoming a society that is selfish to its core? Are we becoming a people that forgets the wider picture?

We want to see change in the world yet we don't want to proactively make that change occur. I am not trying to condemn, I am just trying to question. I am passionate about seeing change yet I don't always pray about it. Maybe it is time...time to grasp a hold of the important things in life and to make a stand to make a difference through prayer.

Now that's said, here are some new pics.

Tradition.

What do we think of tradition and how do we see it? Is it something to be treasured and held onto? Or maybe something that should be locked away and long forgotten?

'Tradition is beliefs or customs taught by one generation to the next.'

Wikipedia (2008)

Yesterday I visited a fishing town on the shores of Lake Victoria called Gerenge. I went with a team that were teaching Primary Health Care. This town is stuck in tradition and through what my eyes saw, this tradition would be better off forgotten.

This village isn't especially poor compared to other villages that we visited this week but the people, especially the men, spend their money poorly. I guess like many people in England do.

The men fish and spend their money on alcohol and prostitutes, leaving the women to work in order to provide shelter and food for their large families. The women told us that a small family consisted of at least 4-8 children. This would be a large family in England!!

The town is small and to be honest not much can be done to improve conditions unless peoples attitudes change. How do you change peoples attitudes though? You can encourage them and try to inspire them but at the end of the day all of that is nothing unless their heart is radically changed and sharpened. Only God can do this seemingly impossible task.

Looking at the village, it is so similar to England. Yes, we have sanitation. Yes, we don't live in rubbish tips...but we don't always have the right attitude towards money and towards family - whether we're Christian or not.

Will being saved changed these peoples hearts? Maybe but then maybe not. There is no point being saved if you are just going to live in the same routine and with the same mindset - you need a change of heart and attitude. Your thoughts have to be changed in order to change your behaviour, which is often hard in a society where change is minimal.

The good thing is that God can do all this and so much more. He promises us that He is able 'to do immeasureably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,' Ephesians 3 v 20 NIV. What about The Message version, 'God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!' God CAN do this!! He CAN change Gerenge and He CAN change England - He CAN do MORE than we ask or imagine but it starts with us 'according to His power that is at work WITHIN US'. We can't be lazy on this, we have to try.

To end on a good note, the children were as beautiful and as vibrant as ever.

Much love to you all as always. Maybe think about your heart and whether it's in the right place or not. x

Life = Beauty.

I am so excited to say that yesterday I saw my first ever birth!!!! From day one I said to my supervisors that I really wanted to see a birth and it happened yesterday...now I wish I could see more and more!! It was really a beautiful and amazing thing, something so precious and something to be treasured for eternity.

The baby came out and was cleaned up and then I was the nurse who done everything else - what a priviledge!! I clamped the cord, took a blood sample from it and cut the remaining cord off. I gave the baby an IM injection of Vitamin K to reduce bleeding and some eye ointment and I assessed him head-to-toe. I then weighed the baby and dressed/wrapped him. I then handed him over to his family. The mum and dad thanked me, but why?! I was the one to thank them. They gave me the priviledge of seeing their first child being born and being the one to assess and dress him.

WOW - what an experience!!!! Now I really really want to do midwifery. I know I want to be a childrens nurse but I also know I want to be able to assist with bringing life into the world. To be the first person to hold a new baby and to have the opportunity to bless them with Gods love, protection and Spirit. We'll see where this desire goes though because that would mean another three years of hard work and study which I am definitely not ready for yet.

Work has been wonderful this week. I have been all over the hospital and today I was in theatre and saw several operations - a c/section being one of them (note to self - always always opt for a natural delivery over a c/section!!!!). Work has been busy and so I have loved it. In outpatients the sister has given me more responsibility and so I have felt more like a nurse and someone who actually knows what they are doing. My confidence is growing daily and I am so excited to be a childrens nurse in life - this is something I am made to do and truly love to do!!

It's such a shame tomorrow is my last day but then at least I have some me time. Also, it's my mans birthday so I must plan something nice for him. I completely adore being here and I will dread returning to England. The only exciting thing about returning to England is qualifying and then my man visiting me.

God has completely blessed me by showing me the beauty of life. Never doubt that life is precious!! x

Uganda ROCKS.

Hey again everyone.

First moan of the blog - this computer is SOOOOO slow and it's driving me crazy, lol!! Second moan, work is a bit slow still and I've decided that I like it when people are actually ill, lol.

So, the last week and a half has been AMAZING!! I have loved it so much more than my first week here and I think it's because I have now settled into life here again and also coz I've been doing more stuff that I actually want to do.

Since the first week when I didn't get much time with my man, things have been easier and better. We have seen each other a lot more and I just feel more like myself with him now. I've realised that it does take so much time to really trust someone and show your true self to them and I think now is the time when that trust has really been solidly built.

Work was great last week because I was in the inpatient ward which was a lot busier than the charity ward. I felt like I had more confidence and I was given more to do. Communication is still hard though. Most patients speak English because of the nature of the hospital, but it can still be difficult. I'm in outpatients this week and it's slow so not really very good. One thing to mention though - they pray every morning during handover. I love this!! People are just free to be themselves here and there is no fear of mentioning God or bringing prayer actively into care. I don't even know how praying during handover in England would be perceived but why not?! Whether people believe or not that there is a God and a God who answers prayer, why can't we pray and hope for it?! Why don't we actively give the day over to someone who is so much higher and so far beyond us as mere human beings??

Anyway, that is it for now. I will try to blog more regularly now but who knows and sorry it's short - the computer is rubbish.

Just a thought - give everything over to God and see what He does.

Much love. x

Woohoo!!!! It's here.

Hey everyone.

Wow, I am so sorry it has taken over a week to write my first blog - I know you are all waiting in anticipation, lol!! Anyway, things have been busy and slightly hectic to say the least!!

So, how are things you're all asking and I guess you're expecting a massive 'AMAZING'?! Well, that is not the answer. Things have been good but also not so good, I guess the best way to describe things is rocky in an adventurous way.

I've had some fun with friends and children but also had some hard times. Time being a difficult constraint at points. Work at the hospital is different and fine, but that's all it is at the moment. It's amazing how small it is to English hospitals and how quiet it is. This week I am on a 30 bed ward and there is a nurse to every 3/4 patients, where as back home you get a nurse to about every 8-10 patients. So I am a little bored at times and kinda frustrated, but things are getting better and I am able to change wards in order to experience different things. I think I will ask to work in Intensive Care next week which will hopefully be so much more demanding of me. Also, a lot of the nurses here are enrolled and not registered which means they do not have the training or knowledge I am receiving in England so I don't feel as though I am learning enough. There was a very positive point yesterday though. There was an 8 year old in with chicken pox and she was just getting ready to be discharged. She had no family with her though and was so playful, she just wanted attention. Not many people were giving it to her though so I did and it was GREAT :) I was helping her with her maths and then she started teaching me numbers in Lugandan, it was so much fun and we both laughed lots.

Here is a pic I had taken at the weekend, playing with my neighbours :) they are so adorable!!!!

So I hear you screaming that you wanna know about me and my boy, right?! Well, he is very lovely thank you and we are growing a lot. Challenges don't stop here though. I thought things might be easy for a while, but they are definitely not!! I knew we'd hardly get to see each other in the week due to uni and work, but it turns out he has uni on Saturdays for his last semester and his last semester is now - sucks!!!!!!! I was so annoyed and frustrated but we are dealing with things as they are thrown our way.

I am sorry this is such a small blog but time is short tonight. On Saturday I will blog for real!!

Love you all but love here as well!!

Keep believing God for the best even through rocky times!! x

Work hard.

Hi everyone. I'm sorry I haven't blogged in absolutely ages, lots has been going on really. I've now moved back home which is great but sometimes hard :) and I'm back in my home church now which I love even more. Also, I'm a third year student and in 11 months will be a qualified nurse, scary but exciting stuff!!

I'm just really realising how much effort I need to start putting into things. The last two years of uni I have kind of blagged my way through, with not particularly much effort. I now realise that even though being a nurse is something God has called me to do and be, it is not going to come easy for me. I believe in God for His complete provision and faithfulness - I do not fear being able to get a job wherever it may be, but I know I have to make an effort to. God can make anything happen but I musn't use that as an excuse to be lazy. Before, I wanted to be a nurse but now I want to be a GREAT nurse. In order to be this I need to work hard and apply myself to my training and then my job. I believe that when I put the effort in God will bless me for it and through nursing I'll really be able to bless and love people.

I don't really know where this is leading - maybe that we need to trust God completely for our futures and dreams but we musn't let this faith add to our laziness. Have great faith, but also work hard.

'All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.'

Proverbs 14 v 23

As a quick testimony which doesn't really follow the topic but then maybe it does. As lots of people know I am travelling to Uganda this summer - it is now only 7 sleeps away!! It has come around so quick and God has truly provided. Last June was the beginning of it all. Within three weeks I was offered a placement at the International Hospital Kampala but it took until late February this year to completely confirm the placement. Can you believe that it took 9 months to sort something that could have been confirmed within the first month or two?! As you can imagine, I was getting completely frustrated and didn't actually think the placement would go ahead. However, it was confirmed and within a week of that someone from my church at university had offered to pay for my flight and two or three weeks later I had received confirmation of receiving funding from the university. God is good!! I presisted with my dreams and even though it took a lot of time, God provided it all and so much more!! Be encouraged and know that with persistance comes results.

Much love as always. Enjoy the sunshine!! x

I'm Alive.

So I have a new video for you, another one by Celine Dion. I find her voice so powerful and her lyrics incredible.

I'm Alive - Celine Dion

'Mmmmm ... mmmmm
I get wings to fly
Oh, oh ... Im alive ...
Yeah

When you call on me
When I hear you breathe
I get wings to fly
I feel that I'm alive
When you look at me
I can touch the sky
I know that I'm alive

When you bless the day
I just drift away
All my worries die
Im glad that I'm alive

You've set my heart on fire
Filled me with love
Made me a woman
On clouds above
I couldn't get much higher
My spirit takes flight
Cause I am alive

When you call on me, when you call on me
When I hear you breathe, when I hear you breathe
I get wings to fly, I feel that I'm alive, I am alive
When you reach for me, when you reach for me
Raising spirits high God knows that
That I'll be the one standing by through good and through trying times
And it's only begun
I can't wait for the rest of my life

When you call on me, when you call on me
When you reach for me, when you reach for me
I get wings to fly, I feel that
When you bless the day, when you bless, you bless the day
I just drift away, I just drift away
All my worries die
I know that I'm alive
I get wings to fly
God knows that I'm alive.'

I don't know what you think but it just reminds me of God. The fact that when He blesses He does it mightily. The fact that just by His breath we can be given wings to fly. He sets our hearts on fire and fills us with love. Isn't this powerful and mighty??

Have you ever thought about flying...the sensation that it can bring?? When I think of being given wings to fly then I think of life...feeling alive so that I may soar, soar like an eagle. This is how God makes us feel. He completely sets us free and releases us so that we can be given true life...so we can be given wings to fly...given pure freedom!!

'Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.'
Psalm 103 v 1 - 5

When we trust God to be all we need, when we praise Him...He satisfies and provides everything...He ultimately renews our youth like the eagles...and we all know what eagles do...they SOAR!!

Admirable yet able.

I thought it might be interesting to blog about the topic of housewives. You might think that this is stupid to blog about but I know people have differing views and that the views of society on this matter are also changing, so thought it would be interesting to blog my thoughts.

The definition of housewife is 'a married woman who manages her own household especially as her prinicpal occupation.' After this definition is this 'housewife is offensive to some, perhaps because of an implied contrast with career woman (just a housewife) and perhaps because it defines an occupation in terms of a woman's relation to a man.'

If we look at society then it is clear that women are becoming more career minded, or perhaps they are just being allowed to pursue their dream of a career. In the past it was always the men who worked and the women who kept the house and who brought up the children. This was the norm. I don't think there really is a norm now though, because many women are still housewives but many woman are also career women.

For some, they may find it offensive and demeaning that people view women as having this role over men. For me, I do not. I think it is actually an amazing thing to be a housewife...to be the primary care giver to your children and to provide a home for the man of your life. I also think that the way men and women are made so differently makes women more suited to being the homemaker and men more suited to being the soul provider of the home.

Should we not embrace our femininity instead of push it aside and say that we are no different to men?! I do not think that this world should be a 'mans world' but I also think that we should not have to fight to be career women just because we don't want to come under a mans authority.

Men are strong - they are made with strength to lead. Women are beautiful - they are made with beauty to be enjoyed.

Men should not take advantage because of this strength and just expect women to be under them and to do all they command. Having this sort of strength to lead is a priviledge and has to be used to lead people with love not arrogance. Women need to realise that their beauty shouldn't be taken for granted and that they are given beauty so they may give it to others - to love and empower and give life to those around them.

Men are made with strength and women are made with beauty so that when they are joined, something admirable yet able is created. This can't be created with just strength or just beauty - men and women have to realise they need each other.

We should not be ashamed of our uniqueness as women or as men. We need to embrace and cherish our differences and be prepared to come under those who are made to lead and to love those who are made to be enjoyed.

Much love, as always. x

Birthdays.

I had my birthday on Monday and it was kinda weird this year. I wasn't with my family or my man which I guess was hard, but it was exactly the same last year. I don't really know how I felt, but I know that I wasn't loving the day. Was it the realism that I am getting older?? I don't think so. I am excited about being older because it means I am closer to my dream. So what was it then??

Do we sometimes place too much emphasis on things that are actually meaningless?? Do we get disappointed with occasions because we place too much hope on them, expecting that they will perhaps be perfect?? Maybe this was the reason I didn't love my birthday. The realism that it was in fact just another day...perhaps I had become too excited about a day that was just a day.

Perhaps we think that birthdays should be ourdays - a time which is just about us?? Is this right though?? The meaning of birthday is an aniversary of a birth, the day of a persons birth or even the festivities/celebration marking such a day or anniversary. Does this give permission for us to become totally selfish on our birthdays and have that day celebrated as ours??

To be honest I think not. Each day is not ours and cannot be...each day is Gods and therefore it's His, to do what He desires with. This makes me more happier than any birthday could. The fact that God can conquer all and do the most amazing thing with any sort of day. No day is mine to name so why should any day be all about me?! My birthday is a day to celebrate the anniversary of my birth but it's not more important than any other day. Any day can be full of fun and amazement!!

A heart for the poor.

So on Sunday a lady preached at church about Gods heart for the poor. It was a challenging time. It was great to hear about Gods heart for people and how the bible actually portrays and emphasises this.

'Listen, my brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the Kingdom he promised those who love him?'

James 2 v 5

'For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.'

2 Corinthians 8 v 9

The world often chooses to despise the poor, yet God loves them so intensely that He chooses THEM to become rich in HIM and inherit His Kingdom. I know how easy it is to get caught up with money but I know that in all things I would rather inherit Gods faith than the worlds money. Consider the following quotes:

'Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.'

Benjamin Franklin

'If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.'

Dorothy Parker

'One must be poor to know the luxury of giving.'

George Eliot

'Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil.'

Henry Fielding

Some wise words maybe?!

Being rich in the worlds eyes is not what it appears to be. In my opinion - money does not make you happy, God makes you happy, and what He offers is love, passion, strength, beauty, excitement, creation, fierceness, adventure, wonderment, awe and pure ecstasy.

God is amazing.

God is absolutely incredible and amazing - He really never fails to astound me!!

I was told at the weekend that someone at my church wants to pay for my flight to Uganda - I am so amazed!! I was so excited when I found out I could go to Uganda but at the same time was dead scared because of not having all the money I needed for the trip. I worked out that I could just about afford to pay for the flight but that was it - I had no clue how everything else would get paid for. Scary but true!! And there was no way that I wasn't going to travel to Uganda because of financial scares.

Me and my man have faced communication difficulties because of the restraints of money and there was no way that I was going to let money interfere anymore!! Money really does annoy, scare and frustrate me - I seriously hate it and absolutely detest how it makes me feel!!

How is it I feel like this knowing that God provides everything I need and more?? Maybe the fact that God might in fact not choose to give me all of my desires and all the miracles I ask for?? This is not lack of faith, this is just realism that God doesn't answer all prayers the way we sometimes want.

Anyway, God has astounded me and once again reassured me that I musn't worry about anything. He provides all that is needed and desired in the situations He puts us in - even when things don't go the way we want them to it doesn't mean God isn't giving what is needed, it just means He is giving what is needed according to the way He wants - the way which is best and good for us.

God is forever GOOD!! Believe and trust that truth. x