Uganda.

Just a quick blog to say - woohoo, I am going to Uganda!!

I have been planning a placement there since last July time and the university kept throwing obstacles in my way. At times I thought I would not get the placement finalised and that I would not actually get to visit Uganda this year.

Uganda is where I want to be and where my man is...it's probably one of the biggest things of my future...so I want to be there. I want to visit and step into my future. I want to see what God truly has for me.

I was relying on this placement for a chance to see if nursing in Uganda is what I want to be doing. The only chance I have to see if I can do it and enjoy it. The only chance to get some contacts. The only chance of discovering nursing in a hospital setting there before I qualify.

This week the placement got finalised and I AM GOING!!

God is good and has been good!! It has taken time, frustration and many days and hours of crying tears and angry prayers...but God has done what is good in His time. He has always remained faithful and I continue to trust Him for what is to come.

Be encouraged. x

Transformers.

I haven't blogged in ages it seems, but there isn't really anything on my heart at the moment to blog about. This week I started a new placement though. It is in a special school in Leigh-On-Sea. I wasn't looking forward to this placement at all really. I've been there a week now and it's fine but definitely not what I want to be doing. I feel it is sort of a waste of time for me to be there for four weeks, but at the end of the day I have to bare with it.

I guess this is just like life isn't it?! We have the things in our life which at times seem like a complete waste of our time, money and effort but yet we have to do them. There are things which challenge us and frustrate us, things that scare us and things that surprise us. For me, this time scared me, it is challenging me and I guess it is also surprising me somehow. I have a confidence when I am there and an understanding of my work there. I know that in this time I will learn something, even if I feel it is a waste of my time at the moment. I also know that all new things build up a confidence in me, so it can't be all bad!!

Life throws many things at us and often they are mundane and boring and often things that we do not want to be doing or see the need to be doing. This morning the assembly was about transformation (which means to change) and the teacher asked "If you could change anything about you what would it be?" My answer would have been the place I am in right now, because the place I want to be in is Uganda. I want to be doing what I know I am called to do. Transformation is good but not always necessary. I know at some point in my future I will transform my life...I will qualify as a nurse, I will move to Uganda and I will marry my love, but right now that transformation is not quite ready to be fulfilled. Right now I have to deal with the mundane life. I have to deal with my uncomfortable and challenging situations that sometimes seem a waste of my time, knowing that in the future they will be of benefit to me, knowing that they have shaped me into the person needed for when my transformation in life comes.

Stick with the mundane times that seem a waste...being confident in who they are helping you to become...being confident that they will benefit you beyond your dreams when your dreams come into fulfillment...when transformation finally comes. x

He is always good.

Well I'm not really sure what to blog about at the moment...actually, yes I do.

Okay, so lately, well, for the past few years, I feel like I have had many challenges going on. I have felt completely alone at times, completely frustrated and I have had times of complete pain and despair where I have just cried out to God for His comfort and some sort of answer. No answers came.

Occasionally I would have a day or two of feeling good again and feeling excited, but no consistency came with this time. I didn't want a happiness or excitement that didn't last. I wanted to feel real again...I wanted to be me.

Then I spent some more time in Uganda and things turned wonderful. I love Uganda and feel completely alive there, but when I return to England things go back to mundane reality and with this comes the frustration and pain...the realisation that I am not living the life I am called to live.

I realise completely what I am called to be and the life I am called to live and I realise that what I am doing right now is not this. I also realise though that my time now is preparing me for my future. It is not what I want to be doing and it is not the ULTIMATE but IT IS the best for me NOW. It is right for me. We all need to be challenged in order to grow and develop.

I have been blessed over the last month because I am now feeling alive and complete. I have been blessed because the Almighty One has answered. He has awoken from His silence and I have come through my storm of rain and hail and fog. I am in a time of sunshine and stars and seeing the light. I AM ME.

'There is a time for everything

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build up,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.'

Ecclesiastes 3 v 1 - 8

These verses completely emphasise the different seasons to our lives...can you see that in every season there is a time of pain and then a time of joy. In every part there is something that will challenge and grow us and then something where this growth flourishes for the use of His glory.

Sometimes God remains silent. Sometimes He answers in ways we desire and imagine. Sometimes He answers in ways we do not desire or imagine. IN ALL TIMES, HE REMAINS TRUE AND GOOD.

'Be strong and let us fight bravely...the

Lord will do what is good in his sight.'

1 Chronicles 19 v 13

'...for it is God who works in you to will and to act

according to his good purpose.'

Philippians 2 v 13

Embrace the season you are in and know that in all times God does do what is best for us and it is always good...especially when we don't feel like it is good. This shows we are in a time of challenge, which shows we are growing and the harvest is about to come. x

Valentines Day.

Okay, so I am aware that in less than a week it is Valentines Day. To be honest, I haven't really been very aware of it this year, I can't even remember seeing things around town to advertise it...but I'm sure that for some of you, you are very aware of it, maybe for good reasons or maybe for not so good reasons. The whole point of this blog is to encourage those of you who aren't looking forward to it and to encourage those of you who are.

Yes, I have a wonderfully, gorgeous man, but no, we will (once again) not be together on Valentines Day. Am I down about this?! Well, not really I don't think. Partly because I haven't had much of a chance to think about it due to being busy lately, but also because I don't need a named day to express my love to my loved one. I am not saying I disagree with Valentines Day or even despise it, because I completely do not. I am just saying that we don't have to make this bigger than it needs to be. If I was able to be with my man then that would be incredible and very special, but I'm not going to get caught up on us being apart, because I will then come to despise a day that is just named by society and not the creator of our world.

Those of you who aren't looking forward to it, whether it is because you don't yet have a significant other or because you can't be with your significant other, please enjoy anyway. It is a day like any other, just with a fancy name. If you want to join in with the celebrations then show your love to the other special people in your life, but if you don't want to join in just treat it for what it is, just another day.

Those of you who are looking forward to it because of a significant other, please enjoy it and embrace the moment. Love your partner and serve them on this day...but also remember that you shouldn't need a day named by society to love your significant other and serve them. These relationships need love, special treats and giving yourself for them more than once a year and definitely more than just on "special" days. Remember what love is and try to live it out daily.

'Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no records of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails...'

1 Corinthians 13 v 4 -8

I encourage all of you to not forget your friends on this day. Do you remember what you felt like on this day when you didn't have someone to share it with?? Do you remember what it felt like not having someone to share your whole life with?? Do you know how hard it may be for those of your friends/family who may have no-one to celebrate this day with?? Or how about your friends who have significant others that they can't be with - could it be hard for them?? Should they be forgotten just because they have somone??

Remember EVERYONE.

Everyone is special...everyone deserves to be celebrated for who they are on this day...everyone should be loved and cherished and desired.

'A friend loves at all times...'

Proverbs 17 v 17

Isaiah 61.

'The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.'

Isaiah 61 v 1 - 3

I was challenged by this bible passage at church on Sunday. It really is what we are called to do. There are different ways to do this, such as volunteering to serve those who cannot do things for themself, for example. Whatever we are called to do as individuals, with the giftings and abilities we have, we are still all called to serve others.

What stood out to me was - 'bestow on them a crown of beauty'. This I realise, is like my mission statement for life, for the ministry I wish to be a part of. Maybe it would be good to think about your own ministry and therefore your own mission statement. Ask God and He will be more than happy to answer and show you what it is you're called to do or be. Maybe just look at what you really love doing and see how you can use this for God.

Remember though, God says '...apart from me you can do nothing...' John 15 v 5.