God Will Take Care of You!

I have not blogged in a while but today is surely the day to blog. I am extremely blessed and exceedingly happy right now. On the 28th May (yesterday) my man had his fourth visa application excepted instead of denied!! Wow, what an incredible feeling!! It is truly surreal.

I have talked a lot through my blog about frustration and learning patience and in more recent months I have talked about handing everything completely over to God, even when it looks like things will not happen as quickly as you'd like. The thing is, 6 months ago, that is what Paul and myself done. We put everything into Gods hands. We gave it all to Him when it looked in our eyes like it would turn everything upside down. We trusted Him and waited for His timing. I have doubted many times along the way but yesterday was the day God said 'yes'. It was the day that said all our waiting and even doubting was completely worth it. We gave our situation truly to God and He provided, as He always said He would.

Just last week I got all in a frenzy that our journey at this moment was not going right. I was thinking that if Pauls visa was refused this time his marriage one might well be refused as well and then what would we do?! I was questioning if we had really heard God in the first place - I doubted Him and I doubted the trust and faith we had as a couple. We did hear though and yesterday is proof of that!! Praise be to Him!!

Sitting here on this night shift I read the word for you today (for yesterday) and it was based on the bible verse '...he will take care of you...' Psalm 55 v 22. It talked of a story of a missionary leading orphans through the mountains to safety in China. She doubted herself but one girl reminded her of Moses and the Red Sea to which she responded 'but I am not Moses'. What did the teenage girl say? 'Of course you aren't, but God is still God!'

The word for you today says 'sometimes God calms the storm, other times He lets the storm rage and calms us.' Last year mine and Pauls storm truly raged but this year God has calmed it. Through it all we testify His goodness and His provision. Regardless of the situation He will always provide and bring out the best!!

Here's to God!!!!!

Emotions.

Why are women sooo emotional??

Today I am disliking this about myself!!!!!

That is all I have to say right now.

Life.

So what is life and what does it consist of? I have not blogged in a while and to say lots of things have taken place is an understatement.

God has been ever faithful and ever true.

The past three and a half years have truly been a journey for me as I have searched for myself and searched for my love, as we have both been on a self-discovery path and a path that discovers love and friendship and emotion. God has truly showed us a glimpse of life. We have experienced many things, pain being a very prudent experience and love being a very true one also. We have lived, even at a young age we can say we have lived. Through it all God has been gracious and forgiving, He has been loving, He has been there.

I have gone from falling in love with a boy, to learning to truly love a man. I have gone from being a girl to being a woman. I have gone from a student, to a staff nurse. I have gone from a single woman to an engaged, nearly wedded one. I have gone from knowing little to learning lots. Paul and myself have gone from naive, immature feelings of love, to love that lasts through the bad and good. We have gone from a young, in love couple, to a couple who are really learning what it means to love, what it means to make that decision day after day. We have gone from days of excitement, laughter and love, to days of tears, frustration, disappointment and anger. We have experienced, we have grown...we have lived.

God has been ever faithful and ever true.

He has always been the great I AM.

He has spoken and He has provided.

He has not broken promises.

He is forever.

God has turned us from seeds to glorious oak trees, which stand the test of time. He has taken us, pruned us and allowed us to bear fruit. I am ever thankful for that.

We are still learning and growing though. He is still pruning, He is still shaping, He is still challenging. This, I know, will never stop. We are always searching to become the people, the individuals, the couple, He dreams of.

God is the greatest blessing in my life and He has blessed me with so much. I am forever thankful He has given me someone to share this all with. I am experiencing His life, with another of His - wow!!

Trust.

Today I have learnt a very big lesson, yet again...learning to trust someone you completely love and hold close to your heart.

Sunday was suppose to be a very big day for me and although it was, it was not the day I had dreamed about. It did not turn out as I had hoped or wanted and at the end of it, I felt very emotional and even let down in some ways. The reason for this was simply selfishness. I was being selfish. I was trying to be controlling. I was not being the woman God has created me to be.

Today I cried and prayed and let it out of my system and learnt to trust. I learnt to trust when everything is uncertain around me. I learnt to trust when I have no say in how things are and how things will turn out. I simply learnt to be that woman that is needed for my man.

We, as woman, are suppose to be there as helpers for our men. We are there to love and cherish and be strong. We are not there to control and see that everything is done our way. I know I'm very traditional in the way I see relationships and marriage so many will not agree with me, but I see men as the leaders and as the heads of our families. I see that as their role, their right, their responsibility, their gift, their blessing and we as women are meant to enjoy that blessing and revel in that. That is one of the things we are suppose to feel freedom and love and security in.

I am forever learning to be that woman...

Pure Heart.

'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.'

Matthew 5 v 8.

I heard this scripture recently at a church meeting and I absolutely loved it. The leaders preach about this verse was also brilliant. It just gave a wider view of what this verse actually means for us.

If we do not have a pure heart then does that mean we are not able to see God?! Can we ever actually get pure hearts though, after all, we are all humans and we all sin?! Surely if there is a verse, such as this one, in the bible, it must have relevance to us and our daily lives?! Surely it would not be put in the bible just to show us that this is what we will never achieve?! It must be there to encourage us to strive for what is best and to search for a greater way, a greater life.

I believe that we do, we can and we will see God. I believe that He is at work in our very lives, our very situations, our very relationships. I believe He is a God who is alive and real, a God that seeks to be relevant in our lives, not just in the past, but now. If that is true then this verse must portray a way of life that we are able to take for ourselves now.

Instead of condemnation, instead of mockery, I choose to use this verse to encourage me to become pure in heart...to search God and His ways...to try to live more as Jesus did...to follow Him and give my all to Him, in order that I may, in some very small way, see God...that I may see a glimmer of Him and continue to live hoping and believing for those glimmers...however small, large, frequent or rare they may be.

'Blessed are the pure in heart [blessed are we], that we may see God [as we see God at work in our very lives].'

Matthew 5 v 8 (emphasis added by me).

God Is Working...

Now is the time to start blogging again...the time when things are happening...

Wow, the past three months have been a whirlwind of very mixed emotions and happenings. Lots of praying and hearing and speaking. Lots of trusting and believing. Lots of crying and pain and frustration. And thankfully, lots of smiles and excitement too.

The time came when I had to let go of my deepest desire and give it completely to God. Over the past year and a half I thought I had done that - I thought I was giving my desires and burdens over to God daily, allowing Him to have His way, but it turns out I was never really doing that at all. I carried on planning for what I wanted and maybe that was the very reason things kept being denied. My desires were not wrong or inappropriate in any way, in fact, I know they were right, I guess it was just the manner in which I was asking for them. Through the pain and tears God was showing that He wanted to be the God of our situation. I just wish we saw that earlier.

By letting go though, it meant there was room and time for God to work. Within the space of three weeks, God had spoken, God had provided and God had worked - in more ways than both Paul and myself could imagine. When we are completely surprised by Gods grace and blessings, He is working!!

Wow, Uganda was an amazing time - a time of miracles, a time of God being who He wanted and needed to be for us. Paul and myself shared 18 days of grace, blessings and complete love. God was showing us that when we give everything over to Him, He does work for the good of us. We were finally living in the miracle we had been asking for, for the past three and a half years.

Giving your deepest desires over to God is not easy. To me it looked like everything would completely change and go backwards. I thought it would make the whole situation harder and longer, when it actually done the opposite.

I've recently been reading the book of Ezra. It has been about Gods people building His temple in Jerusalem and how certain people done all they could to stop the building from happening. However, things were changed when those who were trying to prevent the building work found that a decree was written by the King, which stated the building of the temple should carry on and the gold which had been taken from there originally, must be returned. It then leads onto the King telling his officials that whatever is needed financially and materially for the building, including sacrifices, must be given to the people out of the royal treasury. It just hit me that God can do whatever He wishes so that His will takes place. There is no reason for us to fear because God, the God of the impossible, can change the heart of the King and of the Government so that it works for His people, if it's needed. Why should I worry about the embassy and immigration laws when God is in charge of mine and my mans lives?? Nothing can stop Gods will.

Like an old friend always says - where God guides, He provides.