Well, this is my first blog and I'm not so sure what to write coz I haven't blogged in ages, so I think I'll just chat, lol. Right now it's a Friday evening and I'm home alone eating chocolate buttons and listening to fab music. I've just spoken to my special someone on the phone, for the first time in ages and it was the best EVER!!!!!!! Love is fabulous <3
This week I started work with the Community Children's Nurses. It is going good so far. The team is quite small but two of the nurses are Christians which is a blessing, considering the ward I was based on I didn't know of anyone who was a Christian. Kinda scary to think that out of all the nurses on one children's ward, there are little or no Christians. ANYWAY......this week has been hard as my professional and faith perspectives have been battling against each other. I wouldn't say it's been a moral or ethical dilemma, nothing out of the ordinary even, especially when it comes to nursing, but somehow a battle for me I guess. Maybe some insight is needed please?!!?! There is one patient who is young and is dying of cancer, they are probably in their very last stages of life. The family are Christians and go to a church near my home church so they are praying for healing...a miracle for their precious, tiny, child. I too am praying for a miracle, but it hasn't happened yet. I know that sometimes God takes life from us but this is hard...a child who hasn't even had the chance to really live yet and God might be choosing to let them go...is this really fair?? From a professional nursing prespective there is nothing left to do except provide support, love and comfort, but from a Christian perspective there is so much more that could be done if God willed it. I believe and trust in God so faithfully, yet this does not seem right and it is causing some sort of torture in me. Why is this so hard to understand?? Why does God let life end for some but carry on for others (here on earth)??
I guess I am just realising that God is in fact completely beyond our understanding, so far beyond that nothing He does or says will make sense to us. His word and His character and His son and His holy spirit tell of His magnificent wonders, yet it doesn't always bring clarity and understanding, sometimes it just brings confusion...this is when we bring everything before Him though...this is when we realise that we are actually so small in comparison to the wonderful, majestic HIM. After all, without Him we can do NOTHING (John 15 v 5).
2 comments:
Lisa here nicola!when I lived away from home doing my art course(3dimentional design)I was challenged every week with stuff it was so hard at times.I was the only christian.The challenges were always at the end of the day and weekends.everyone would meet up in clubs n pubs or bedsits should I SAY NO or yes LORD was a constant question.God gave me amazing friends.U just have to take each day as it comes not worry trust God.Lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknoledge him etc.prov 3v5
As for healing and dying-what a subject.Each persons story is different.The main thing with ones knowing they are dying soon is that they know where they are going to eternal life.vicors/pastors normally visit patients,during those times as a nurse I dont know what you are able to say to a patient IM SURE WHISPERING to them might be o.k./?!
When I look back on people I personally have loved and lost particularly my cousin a few years older than me we were praying constantly I even had an area set up like in prayer rooms we do.All my energy was praying that cancer would go etc.She got worse and died,leaving 2 sons the same age as my daughters.But knowing the whole story...I am glad she was taken out of this life.We like to think life on earth is permanent but we are all just passing through.There are some deaths I think God that was a horrible end.We must all live life to the full I guess.When my grandad was alive with every person he would meet/talk to his main concern was to make sure it was well with there soul that was all that mattered to him.And to keep your eyes on the Lord the whole time then you cant go wrong was something he told me every week.He really knew what was the most important things to focus on.Plus knowing the word of God,not head knowledge revelation.I dont know if this is helpful its alot easier to talk these things through that type!!!
Be sure of who YOU are Nicola and just ask God your heavenly father for revelation on things throughout each day.
Love
Ma dear thnx for sharing your feelings and experiences openly. It kind of gives some relief when its off your chest, mind and heart but of course the core love remains deep inside.
This side of eternity, we will not fully grasp it. I totally agree that there is much pain as well as joy in love. It's wise to keep the heart open for the Lord to handle the issues either way otherwise its easy to move in one's own direction.
The Lord's timing is the best and its comforting 2 know that in eternity, we shall experience full and complete love.
Keep it up, who knows, one day a book might emerge from your thoughts and experiences.
The world is beautiful- (the deserts, waters, forests, plains etc) cos the Lord created it. Enjoy the immediate beauty around u!
May He embrace you under His wings, hug you, comfort you and reassure u of His everlasting love.
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